blog
Wednesday, February 15, 2006 { 11:40 pm } ;
0 repliesi felt the 'stand back, beware of me' vibe. tat ain't gd at all. i shouldn have let u known. bleah.
people can really surprise me. jus look at how well they conceal themselves. omg. i jus cant believe these ppl man. argh! of all people, its those i thought i knew well. ish. but a promise's a promise. the secret's within me and stays with me.
spoke to sarah while i walked home from the interchange. its been a long while since i act chatted with her on the phone. & i still cant believe my charlie's angels are in sec 4. i was them 2 years back. tat seems like eons ago.
freaking shit la. i wasn in the mood to learn or do anything in class jus now so i was just surfing the net. for almost 2 hours, i sat cross-legged on my chair with my shoes off my feet. it was until my fren came back from lunch that i wanted to visit the toilet tat i realised tat my shoes could not be found. the rest of my team plus some others' from my class actually pakat to hide my shoes which were hidden quite well. hana gave me a clue but I kept missing it. I finally found one side wrapped in the plastic for the rubbish bin. The second one was wrapped arnd a jacket which was placed in a paper bag in the small cupboard. Assholes. I had to hit ghaz with a shoe and even resorted to chasing him outside class-barefooted!
Tat was a good punk but it wasn very nice. I couldn really laugh it off cos my heart was heavy. Hell. Hana has to watch her back now.
i feel a bit guilty
for not turning up for mr lincoln's farewell yesterday.
jus cos i was to have a test tis morning,
i couldn join in the farewell.
and it feels worse everytime i remember wat ms regene told me,
i feel horrible actually.
added to my incapability to close anything last night.
and he wont be at the seminar next wk,
so he wont be present to hear me thank him in front of the huge crowd.
and i'm not even close to him.
and then i think further,
in less than 2 weeks,
nina will be off to medan too.
darn. i'm gonna miss her.
she's worried bout my mindset,
and i'm worried if i cant do w/o her.
sheesh. sounds as if i really need her.
come on bitch.
u dun need ppl to do well,
u have to be independent!
wake up wany!!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 { 2:28 pm } ;
0 replies
addicted-simple plan
tide is high-atomic kitten
sephia-sheila on 7
semusim-marcel
heaven knows-rick price
my boo-usher & alicia keys
goodnight & go-imogen heap
to those who loved and still love,
Happy Valentine's Day!
secret heart; u're still in my mind but my heart is numb.
Monday, February 13, 2006 { 4:13 pm } ;
0 replies
Tuhan katakanlahDiri ingin dipujiBiar berteman sajaBiarkan..these days i just comment on people.
he's cute. he's gd-looking. she's hot. (yeah eva from desperate housiwives definately is)
but hey! tat doesn mean i have feelings for tat person man.
its just comments my god! hanya memuji. there's no need for a big fuss over a comment.
cos the other time, i was on duty for School of Health & Leisure(SHL) for RP Open house and there was a gd-looking facilitator-a new one. my frens & i went ga-ga over him a lil before we went off.
he suddenly appeared in my class for culture module the week after. i was surprised, and excited as well. my class got to noe of it and made such a big fuss over it. jus because i said he's gd-looking. and my old fac got to noe and teased tat he'll get me haikal's hp no. wtf. there wasn a need for tat; tat guy's married with a kid man! and when i turned up in a dress plus pants last lesson, ghaz teased me even before i sat down. wa lao. cannot stand it sia. it was just a comment! *sheesh. does it mean i like everyone tat i praise? haiyo..
Wednesday, February 08, 2006 { 11:56 pm } ;
0 repliesparis hilton & nicole richie may be bitches most of the time. or maybe they're just dumb blonds. duhh. but they have such good hearts. gosh, like in every episode on A Simple Life they'll do smth so sweet for a family member. at tat point, they're angels.
she may not be a perfect daughter or have the perfect lifestyle but she truly have a good heart. i'm surprised tat ppl like her do charity work for a good cause but in their own style. tis is one thing tat makes me respect and love her more. i guess i jus envy their effort.
ice-cream. i craved for delicious ben&jerry's or haagen daaz with no ryhme or reason. then i saw the date. it was ur bdae. wat a reminder. but if course my efforts to get through u was wasted. happy bdae though.
woo hoo! i cant contain my excitement, which may turn out to be the biggest disappointment of my life, but hell yeah!
SEMINAR ON MONDAY! WEE!!ok. i'm done. =))
Tuesday, February 07, 2006 { 3:22 pm } ;
0 replies
We don't see eye to eye
Or hear ear to ear
Don't you wish that we could forget that kiss
And see this for what it is
That we're not in love
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
It was hard to tell just how I felt
To not recognize myself
I started to fade away
And after all it won't take long to fall in love
Now I know what I don't want
I learned that with you
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the startsong & lyrics by Feist
Monday, February 06, 2006 { 11:44 pm } ;
0 repliesfadz received news on where to get the binder and i was fucking excited. haha. but the exact location is not known.
so i travelled down to little india on my own after deciding not to follow Team 2 on their bus to KNC for their match. i couldn tell where i was when i got out from the train station. i recognised some buildings and walked towards the food centre. tat small road i took reminded me of malaysia, so untypically spore. wahahaha. & since i was in a cultural area, i thought i might as well have some traditional food. so chappati it was with mutton curry. freaking shit, it cost me $3.50 for jus 2 pieces with jus tat gravy. grr.
i continued walking aft tat with no particular direction, jus an aim to have smaller breasts :p. but bladdy shit, i nearly got lost. cos i chose to walk on the inside rather than the usual roads. i felt like a lost tourist sial. but it was interesting though. many shops there actually took in used electrical stuffs and there was one shop which had many african americans standing outside. i couldn really differentiate them from the indians at first until i heard them speak. people of the same skin colour gather together? :x
i saw sungei road and was so tempted to look at what they had to offer but i continued walking, trusting my own instincts to finally look for mustaffa centre. when i got at the shopping mall, i spent so much time looking at stuffs i didn need tat i lost track of time. in the end, i didn even get anything. trip wasted.
have you seen the queue lines for the machines in the train stations?or a reminder 'No Loitering' outside of it?~oh boy! u'll find them at Lil India train station yo! wahahaha!
Saturday, February 04, 2006 { 12:34 am } ;
0 repliesthey say: "If you have it, flaunt it."
god. i noe i have it but hell, u can have it. its the only thing that i'm insecure of. the no. 1 reason why i am insecure of myself are my boobs. seriously ppl, its too big for me. i dun like it. i tried to appreciate these assets of mine, but i can't. i'm uncomfortable in my own skin cos of it. and that BAD! i'm supposed to love myself, appreciate what i have or wat i am but i don't! i may be small and all, and my tummy seems big to me, but i just dun want this size la. fuck. smaller is definately better. :(
i wanna bind them la fuck! gimme a fucking breasts binder can?!
i was doing survey with the 'old birds' and i mentioned tis to li hui when the rest disappeared.
LH: no la. its not big la. i used to think the same also but i've learnt to appreaciate my assets. hahahah.
yes dear. i went thru tat phase once too-appreciating my assets. but i'm back to hating the size and i'll probably never get over tis until i get a binder!
Thursday, February 02, 2006 { 11:55 pm } ;
0 replies
Well, emotions are not stereotypes, they are the truth. Every man has emotions, but women tend to be more emotional. But that doesn't mean that boys CANNOT cry. They can, but should they do so (in public)? A man who cry proves that they have a heart too, but bawling is an absolute No No! Crying does not decrease their masculinity, but crying too much can. get it? haha.
Anyway, the very old stereotypes have been proven otherwise. Such like Engineering is for boys or cooking is the job of women is not neccessarily true. The issue in the modern world is no longer the traditional thoughts people have on each gender. Rather, people pursue their interests more now without regarding the gender issue. The best cooks in the world are the men, who, of course, learned from their mothers =p. There are women who ride a KZ scrambler bike, like my cousin for example.
Stereotypes are made up to generalise a group of people, each gender for this matter. It may not comply to everyone but there are people who prove the stereotype right. So no one should actually judge based on the stereotype as the person may be special. If he/she does not comply to the stereotype, it doesn't mean he/she is not a male/female respectively. Maybe physically a lady is a female but she may not be as emotional as other females. That doesn't mean she's no longer a female or any lesser than a normal female. Who are we to judge what is/isn't normal anyway?
nina recounted to me of her palm reading at the office.
she mentioned nothing to the lady but the lady got everything right bout her past. amazing. then she was told of her present. all true. fuck, tat lady was good.
her future, looks very bright. successful in work. people respect her now (truly, i do). she's got true frens now (i beamed cos i truly am amaze at her frens who still stuck to her thru super thick and thin).the best part to me was the topic of her love life. she'll get married at 27-28, at most 30. she mentioned nin's then bf, tat she might end up with him if they work things out. "he loves u, he jus doesn't noe it yet." hmmm... but if they cant work things out, she'll meet someone by next yr. a foreigner, not a tourist. *excitement builds* she asked the lady,"do i noe tis person?" the answer was positive.
first name tat came to my mind-Dom! Boy! i nearly jumped for jump for joy for her! the lady also mentioned earlier tat it'll be safer for her to leave the country next yr and tat she'll be happier living overseas. but the countries she mentioned was australia and france. FRANCE! such great news. will last forever pulak tu. yay!
but there's the dark side la. she'll fall ill at the age of 45 for 3 weeks. she'll live till 70-80 if she gets better. tats
IF she survive the illness. at tis point of time, i got really worried. i mean with her current condition, if she gets any worse...
i wish i wouldn believe these cos i'm not supposed to but she had another palm reading before tis and it sounds alike. so how am i not to believe? oh boy! i'm so happy for her la. jus looking at the positive side. but after re-accounting her story to me, freaky things happened.
really freaky. and i jus had to add to our nerves by reminding us tat it was a thursday night. :x
i wish i would be daring enough to go for such things. but i guess i dun wanna noe my future. well, not really.
i'm fucking emo la. i'm just in a fucking emo state. have been in a few days. most probably after the KBox trip. i feel useless la babe. watching u in that state, i jus made u more sober. i've never been of much help, have i?
i sometimes wish i hadn't met u again; the state that we were in seems much better. i dunno man. i'm lost. and fucking emo.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006 { 10:28 pm } ;
0 replieshappy lunar new yr all!
had 2 gatherings; with avalanche and giant.
i tot we were late for avalanche's. started at 7, planned to reach at 8 plus but did so at 9 instead. thank god i met up with the other hai sians cos there were no familiar faces at Regi's! everyone else were comin late. so we settled ourselves at the dining table snacking on the chocolates and nuts that Regi passed to us. she told us bout the rest who were coming.
Regi: they all comin late. Peili comin at 9+. Janet also on the way. Oh! Meiqi bringing her boyfriend along. her handsome bf!
my married senior was like, gushing at her own hse?!
me: ooh! ok. he steward ah? (pardon me but i do speak broken english at times)
regi: no! he howard. (lol)
me: huh?!
regi: he's not a steward. his name is howard.
bleah. and she tried to convince us tat tis howard is handsome. i was kinda rushing for time since my mom was suan-ing me for being out of the house most of the time. but i jus wanted to see her bf! so i stayed on while ju and cecilia taught me how to play black jack. we took out our money but it wasn a real gamble-we took back the amount at the end of the game. if not i would have won $4! muahaha. we didn play big but i was winning k?! tat was fun.
peili came, alone. then janet. then pei jun. it was already 11 but she has yet reached. then peili came in, announcing the arrival of the awaited couple. and she gushed bout the guy olso. -.-
after being called anti-social by the captain, i went out to wish them happy new yr. and freaking shit, i held out my hand some more! she jus continued talking to peili. so paisey leh! but i jus turned to the partner and did the same. thank god he's nicer. but he's not gorgeous la. not even VERY handsome. he's ok in my books. but they share the same set of teeth.
regi forced me to stay for the lao yu sen then i quickly left. but cabs were difficult to get. shld have taken the bus instead cos my mom was already asleep when i reached home. -.-
i was kinda lazy to go for giant's gathering. plus i deleted the address. it wasn until at 4pm till i asked for it again.(i was to be there at 5. aah! tats wat u call 'janji melayu'! :x) i left the hse at 5 and reached the area an hr and a half aft tat. gosh! bukit panjang is jus fuckin far la. thank god i trusted myself and alighted at the right stop.
melayu united seem quiet all the way. but wat were we to do? there wasn like a karaoke set for us to enjoy, jus a tv set showing spy kids 2! i was tempted to gamble in black jack with the rest, but i dun gamble. -.- i left rather early. alone again.
i ran away
thinking i'll find a better place
now all i can see is a circle
drawn by me
i'm back to square one
back to misery, silence and desperation
where is my sanctuary?
