i hate to see you cry
laying there in that position
there's things you need to hear
so turn off your tears and listen

pain throws you heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
no, it won't all go the way, it should
but I know the heart of life is good

you know it's nothing new
bad news never had good timing
but then the circle of your friends
will defend the silver lining

pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
no, it won't all go the way, it should
but I know the heart of life is good

pain throws your heart to the ground
love turns the whole thing around
fear is a friend who's misunderstood
but I know the heart of life is good

i know it's good

john mayer

blog

WEEEE!!!!!

I got A for Psychology UT2! 15.5/20.
Not bad a score i feel. HEHE.

That's like my first A for UT la. i hope it won't be the only one i'll get for this yr.
But i think for the 2nd UT i've only got hopes for nutrition la. tat olso is 50/50 cos my mind was blank when i sat for the test & i alr know some mistakes i've made la.

anw, i finally made my way down to the polyclinic to get my knee referred to Sports Medicine at CGH. lol. i waited so long to see the doc but thankfully she was quite nice. She wanted to refer me to the ortophedics at first, but i spoke up and asked if i could be referred to Sports Medicine instead. She didn't know i got it through sports la! but yeah, i have to wait till thursday to know my appointment date cos they said CGH SM was closed.

i was planning to drop by the driving centre to apply for basic theory la but thankfully i was smart enough to call them first to ask about the fees. i decided to just head on to kallang for Swift's match instead cos i didnt have enough on me! ms regene called me halfway through the journey to ensure tat i knew bout the seminar on tue. i quite dread it actually. she said she's not seen me for a very long time. in my mind, i know she missed a friend but i'm hoping she's not missing her colleague.

i can always recognise my idols from afar. HAHA! it was from the bottom-up just now. i saw yulan when i was walking past court 1. i thought she wanted to wish me luck or smth when she walked towards me but all she said was, "i passed ur wedding card to fomei so u just take it from her k? U must come or else i'm gonna kill u! haha". i was too shocked to say anything but i was smiling from ear to ear. MY NO.1 IDOL IS GETTING MARRIED! (& I'M INVITED!!!) my seniors waved HI from afar when they saw me walk to the court & tat kinda surprised me cos usually tat doesnt happen. but they exclaimed tat i was crazy to have worn jeans when the weather was scorching hot! well, i didnt know it wld be TAT hot la ah. i shld have worn my shorts. haha. & i was the only person taking the score & time under the hot sun la! Jeffery was nice enough to take an umbrella out from his car to shelter me from the heat but my hands were alr full with the scorecard & stopwatch so i just took a bib & covered my head with it. felt weird but happy tat i cheered along with the seniors during the last 2 quarters la but captain peili wasnt too happy with me. its tat usual 'u havent transferred & its been weeks' thing & i simply detest having to put her & myself in such situations. at the end of the day, she thanked im for coming down but avoided having any conversations with me. yuh jiao made accurate shots during the first 2 quarters when we led but both my idols were rather tired for playing the full match under the heat. obk was obviously exhausted, i felt kinda bad for her cos i did was to show gestures of 'u're doing well, keep it up' with no words of encouragements. i realised shirley went for ROM aft their match when regi was flipping through the photos. she looked so cute in her dress la! & while looking through the pics, i just slid my hand in obk's arms la. its just an automatic thing i do when i'm standing and looking through smth beside someone i deem to be close with.

i looked for my sisters at TM cos they went shopping & end up having free Mac & a trip to a cafe at Esplanade with them, my bro-in-law & my nephew! We were supposed to watch the fireworks la but sadly it was only for a short while. it was fun playing with Rayn la! He ran into a security guy thinking tat it was his dad. lol

we went to my grandma's place aft tat to fetch my mom. the elders packed the kitchen & my cousin was so pitiful la, he was bored cos my other cousins were at the national stadium for the match before the closure. & Rayn was so amazed by the fireworks on TV, his jaw dropped. lol. but the boy knows gd music-he danced to timberland's hit remix with Nelly Furtado! lol

i think it was a gd saturday. unfortunately, i had to be reminded to financial issues. But well, i'm so looking forward to the wedding on 20th JULY!! hehe



i'm surprised how concerned my facis are towards my health.
lilian & jenny wished me me to get well soon.
i'm touched, honestly.

& i'm concerned bout jenny too. haha. she was puking when she took naz's class last mon & looked rather pale when she took my class the next day. she tried to change the focus to me after she agreed she didnt feel so well.

she did say she hope she's not (pregnant) when naz & frens asked during her toilet episodes. but it'll be a joy to have both my fav facis facing motherhood. Jacqueline's tummy is a lil obvious now.



i'm so not focused today.
must be the 4-5 'off' days i had from sch when i was ill.

shucks.



i've been ill for the past week. Timothy Mah says playing in the rain doesn cause u to fall sick so i shlouldn blame it on the rain. blame it on kieran then! hehe. she's been ill for ages, since the holidays even started.

started to feel a lil feverish on monday before our match against Bedok BB's.

started coughing during nutrition on tuesday. (i asked jenny the stupid question: how do u get rid of a cough. ans: cough syrup?!) & i tried to convince everyone tat i was running a slight fever cos i didnt wanna do physical. haha

i didnt have to convince anyone about my fever on wed, it was 37.6 degrees! but i made the wrong move to go to sch for psychology. i felt so sick & weak tat i couldnt concentrate on what i was reading on. Paula was nice to get me a remedy for it but i couldn rest properly. eventually, i slept while the other teams presented but lilian had nothing against tat i think. it was weird though tat i woke up just in time to bombard the last team with questions to get the extra grade up. I was worried of my temp cos Im wasnt gonna be down for the match but i didnt wanna fall more ill if i played.

unfortunately i lost my vote to take the same cab with nan. but i sat & slept at the front seat. & i tot i left my shoebag in the cab when i couldn find it after shifting my stuff to court 2! mr tony didnt want me to play with temp of 38degrees & neither did i actually, but jeffery asked if i could play after jorryn offered her shoes & i couldn say no. sherry was nice enough to send me home after tat but i was a lil drowsy & definately losing focus in the car. after i got out from the car, i puked twice under the blk. water & H2O mainly. i napped before changing & i totally forgot to my RJ for tat day. (but i still got an A)

i couldn really wake up the next morning and i was pretty sad actually cos it was prescription which i've been waiting for since the holidays la. but i couldn help it cos i had to be better for Nutrition UT in the aftnoon. i got to the doctor a few minutes before their closing for lunch and the bladdy doc didnt check me thoroughly! he didnt even give me paracetemol for my headaches which comes naturally with high fever rite?! goodness. my dad's porridge was to die for tat day. really helped me sweat it out.

i cabbed down to sch cos i wanted to sit in for the class presentations. & i loved my entrance la. ivor's grp was presenting but i caught everyone's attention when i stepped in. i made my usual apology-"sorry i'm late" & i got everyone cracked up. Jacqueline just smiled. Rena, Russell & Kieran offered me to present and i wanted to actually, but i rather just get the X than a D for my grades. haha.

my mind was rather blank when i sat for the UT. the meds really kicked in at the wrong time i guess. there were 2 questions tat totally got me stunned & 2 others tat i knew how to do but just couldnt type in properly. all-in-all, i was hoping it wouldnt be any failure again.

i wanted to look for Jacqueline awhile for the previous UT's answers cos she did go thru with the class tat morning. Eliza came by to look for her too and she acknowledged me, which i felt was a lil weird at first but concluded tat she's quite friendly as a person. i was told to IM Jac instead cos she was busy aft class. Haha came by my class aft the test & i saw Jenny came out from A. she asked how the test was, & i replied OK with no confidence. But i was hyped up when i wanted to tell her the irony of me falling ill after writing in for her RJ. i reminded her i wrote tat i'll be taking more Vitamin C before or when i fall sick and i had to practice tat the next day! she laughed it out when she said she did got a glance through my RJ but asked me to stay away from her cos i sounded really bad. Tat was very direct but hey, i dun wanna get my fav facis fall sick too!



AVALANCHE. always..<33



Swift - candid

Swift & Strike

Coaches in (i look like a ghost here!pardon me, i was ill)



ok. Bedok BB's wasnt what i expected them to be.
it was a tough fight, a gd one. could have been better with Im arnd.
honestly! but i suck again.
AREA! i cld have been graded D7 for attack.
but surprise, surprise! i did better in defence.
now i have to agree with yiu yah that i'm a defending center player.
dawn approached me during games to correct my mistakes.
i went up to regi for my usual de-brief after the match.
& man! i couldnt catch my breath during the 2nd break!
i played for the whole 60 min la!

i got a pat on my head from Idol No.1 when i approached her
i caught the seniors looking from another bench
but they were nice when i went to them
Idol No. 2 was rather supportive this time round i feel
& she joked tat we shld bring along cam on wed cos both teams playing. heh
Idol No. 3 reached when i left the seniors to change. hah

i love chia yulan! ongbeekee & kuah yuh jiao!
wo de ou xiang!

speaking of which, i looked for jac after her lessons with Haha's class just now.
i wanted to know if she was gonna go thru the UT and how she grades.
had gd pointers on books & memorisation.

my blister's killing me,
but YAY!
TMR's NUTRITION!!
WEEE!



I’m on a rollercoaster.
I am affected though I know whatever’s been written is rather baseless.
& so my friends told me not to listen.
Cos they appreciate me for who I am
& they know what my real goals are.

But the prick is one who will not change
For her own good or for the team
Cos she thinks ppl have to accept her for who she is
& there are no thoughts about changing herself for the better
She is comfortable in her own skin
Tat makes her stubborn because she is tactless
So being straight-forward is one tat leaves her happy
Although she knows it’ll hurt others
& simply she doesn care

It is just the thought of defending my actions
Or simply said, a confrontation, tat builds tis rollercoaster
If I keep silent, it means she’s right & I may not have my say in the future
If I confront, the whole team is in jeopardy

A new friend said,
Just as long as your conscience is clear, tat you’re doing the right thing for the team
I guess it leaves to a conclusion of keeping quiet
My ideas however will still be spoken out through the captain.
Let’s just see how the attendance is for tmr.
I might just have the last laugh.

& lovely caridee was the chosen one!
Melrose can head on to the shrink first before doing well with PR cos she’s a fake! HAH



ok.
i'm still awake.
i think i'm pretty much affected by the mail though i have yet to shed any tears.
i think i shld give everyone a chance; i'm a lil bit biased.
i want life journey again so i can noe everyone on a more personal basis like what happened to the rest of us during camp. i love every single one of us in the camp cos i understand them.

i understand.
i wanna understand the rest now.
gosh.

i'm in repair.
i'm not together but i'm getting there.



wow.
to think tat playing badly for a match wasnt enough, i had to receive a hate mail

YES. HATE MAIL.
i cant recall ever getting one. but no, the title of the e-mail wasnt hate mail, of course.
cos my sch team had a talk just now at KNC & i was pretty harsh cos i wanted to get it done & over with since we keep postponing them twice during camp & we werent able to hold it during trg due to lack of attandence olso.
i'm taking the mail constructively la but there are just some facts which aren't right & some of them are a realisation, exactly the point of a team talk just that i wished the points were given during the talk and not thru e-mail.

constructive ones:
1. not everyone is as bad as me as to lie to their parents la ah. tat was a stupid statement i gave vannessa & i cant blame her for going against the idea. that was the stupidest suggestion la! i cant believe tat came out from my mouth!
2. adaptation to the environment. smth i knew all along actually, but something to re-butt against it too.
3. venue! its a make do thingi. definately not the best place to be in to hold a talk but rebuttal ahead.
4. maybe i'm trying to hard for the a lot of changes at a short period of time. rebuttal ahead.

my defence(there's gonna be a lot):
1. let's start with venue. we really need to make-do with the place since everyone would be there for the match. we were supposed to hold it twice before but there wasnt full attendance. i fully understand my captain's frustrations for the attendance at the camp.
2. the time was not supposed to be DURING the match. CHECK first la aiyoh. it was to be after the match but it was a walkover and some of them had to rush off so hence we needed to do it seemingly, during the match time. why? cos we dunno when we'll get the full attendance next. honestly.
3. i have said time and again, my aim when i got back onto the team was to build up the teamwork. i didnt feel in since the beginning but its got better now with the agreement of our captain. i believe in taking actions rather then watch things to happen & hence i seem to make a lot of changes & kinda seem as if i'm leading. I'm sorry i gave tat feeling actually but honestly i'm not fighting for captaincy & i dun aim for ppl to like me. my aim is to make the change & win tat medal. i think its pretty clear and simple but it needs a lot of cooperation from everyone.
so 3 & 4 is tat i'm not trying to win ur votes to lead cos my votes goes to naz still! & i'm not trying to fit in cos i really dun need anyone to like me.
5. maybe i'm quite a perfectionist so i want things to be as fine as it could be so we can get tat medal. maybe cos i know we only have POL-ITE to look at since IVP is gonna be very tough to fight for. but we dun have a yr to make things work out. there's exactly 30 days left till our first match and that is a very short period knowing tat we have trgs only twice a wk. if action is not taken, we might just prepare to say goodbye to the medal. & its not bronze tat i'm eyeing at, as hosts of the games, i hope we can top the table then let the whole school population to know tat we still exist and can produce results! my secret goal for the team is to win the team of the year for the next Glitz.

so far haha & nab neutralised thru msn. but this is only a few and not majority. i'm just disappointed these are not being said during the talk since there are points in which the writer said she has ppl who shared the same sentiments.

its just that this is not just a game to me anymore. i play to win but i dun play this game alone.
best thing is tat the conclusion/continuation of it is on mon, before my critical match. i'm very afraid i'll be affected by it & dun perform again during the match. i need to sacrifice but i'm not sure which i shld do so since both are equally important.

woah. its getting colourful now ey.



<3s ongbeekee.
hehe.

my idol was late for the game la.
the whole team didnt do warm-up cos everyone was late.
obk was the latest. haha.
i was at court 1 watching rp play bedok BB's when she came.
by the time i reached court 4, she was playing while chewing on gum.
comfirm she didnt eat la.
she waved to me when she came onto court at the 3rd quarter (she played in 2nd quarter).
i was running back & forth from court 1 & court 4.
RP had probs though they were leading after 2nd quarter N i feel bad not staying to watch them for all 4 quarters.
but my seniors need me more for that day.
we were losing out quite a margin & there was only me & im to help out with timer & scoring except when janet was out to rest.

i didnt talk to the seniors aft their match la. well, that's nothing new. but i did have a gd chat with yiu yah before yuh jiao & the rest reached.
i walked obk to the toilet & went to piss though i had no intentions to actually. & the woman just wanted to take her stuff which she left in the toilet before the game la!

but both she & yiu yah are not confident of winning the remaining games.
& really, if they play the same and do lose eventually, and if our team goes up to the table, we'll be meeting them in Div 3 next yr.

let's pray all goes well k. =)








CAMP TMR!!!!!! =)



weird.

i was just being nice by smiling to geneivive when i saw her at the cafe & she exclaimed as if she knows me well.
best thing is, she came up to me before she left and said, "u're so hardworking. wat are u doing?" in that accent of hers. i took 2 seconds to fathom wat she said and asked for a repeat on the last line.

i'm not saying i hate it or anything, i just kinda find it weird unless there is an explanation to tat la. (dun try saying she's nice cos i heard she isn't in her class)

well, maybe they do talk. i kinda hope they really do. gd talks, of course. i havent done anything wrong besides coming late to class.



i was in school for a meeting arnd 9.40am and i stayed in the library till 3.45 before my Anatomy UT started. i was freezing cold by the time i reached class even though i had a cup of hot chocolate in my hands. spent quality time studying although i think i focused too little on endocrine system. i sure feel i got the question on joints right but i was clueless on the question on cortisol. i should have followed my gut feeling.

anw, i signed up for capoeira IG and i do hope the proposal will be approved by the sch cos i think its gonna be fun but i dun wish to pay for the instructor fees. the guy who wanted to start up the IG is in yr 3 and asked for help to do the proposal or look for an advisor. I was quick to think of Jacqueline which i did eventually ask her a few minutes before my UT started la. My hopes were high when she said it would be fun but she'll be busy with her research and will be taking maternity leave next sem alr although she isnt in charge of any IG. I was rather sad she was gonna take leave but i'm happy for her becoming a mum. =)

anyhows, she asked if i'ld be interested to help her out with her research and before she even told me the details, i said yes. its not the CE points that i'm going for, i want the experience. thats why i nearly backed out after thinking of the few slots there is for the research (there's only 5 slots). i stayed strong on the decision after she said that it'll be useful for me in the industry (its bout breathing) and she mentioned that it'll be good for breathing prescription besides exercise and i can use the extra knowledge on myself. haha. too bad the msn i used was the older version - i would have just copy pasted the convo. muahaha

i'm in KL now for my cousins' weddings (they're sisters) and i gave a lot of thought about what jacqueline said so far. i'm thinking if i should pursue a degree, a Masters like Jac probably aft RP... Well, we know it'll cost money, more if i wanna do so overseas (which i think is better).

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